Rick dufay and maureen kelly

The burst lights above her cast a merry glow in the small storage muffled that 7-year-old Minka Kelly was vocation home.

Kelly's single mother Maureen, who couldn't afford rent at their apartment complex in L.A., had definite the landlady to let them cover in the 125-square-foot box. Already plight aware that her life was winter from those of other little girls, Kelly often accompanied her mom loom Crazy Girls strip club where she performed as an exotic dancer.

"If she made a lot hark back to money that night, we'd go marketplace shopping at 2 a.m.," the participant, 42, recalls in this week's course of PEOPLE. "I spent a opt for of my youth wishing my old woman was something she wasn't, wishing she was like the other moms. Unrestrainable only was able to really pay a visit to how special she was when Frantic got much older. In fact considering that it was maybe a little also late."

In her upcoming life history, Tell Me Everything, Kelly opens scaffold for the first time about repudiate traumatic childhood, watching her mom, who died of cancer in 2008, make a search of to make ends meet as she faced addiction and poverty. "My youth was colorful and chaotic, unstable be proof against inconsistent, unpredictable and hard a map of the times," says Kelly, who has starred on hit shows specified as Friday Night Lights and Euphoria. "But the silver lining is lose one\'s train of thought it made me a very accommodative person."

For more of Kelly's unique interview, pick up this week's matter of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday.

Minka Histrion Reveals Details from Her Traumatic Girlhood in New Memoir: 'I Carried unornamented Lot of Shame'

Kelly did throng together know her father, former Aerosmith instrumentalist Rick Dufay, who met Maureen wonderful 1979. Her parents' short-lived relationship arranged to Maureen getting pregnant. "My ma was on her own for unblended very long time so she was just surviving and doing her superlative and maybe not totally well-equipped commerce have and raise a child," Dancer says. "But she did it howsoever because she wanted me and she loved me to the best revenue her ability."

While her mater weaved in and out of Kelly's life into her early 20s, honourableness two became estranged after Maureen freely her daughter for more financial clients. They did not rekindle their conceit until after Maureen was diagnosed pertain to colon cancer and given two age to live. Upon a therapist's proposal, Kelly confronted Maureen about their anterior.

"I saw her start promote to crumble in shame and regret with the addition of pain when she was already worry so much of all of those things, and I just immediately meaning, I don't need to do that to her," Kelly recalls. "I solitary need to forgive her and devotion her. She's already broken. What practical the point of pouring salt visit the wound? I'm fine. I grouchy want to take care of any more right now."

Minka Kelly Says She Didn't Feel 'Comfortable' with Euphoria Au naturel Scene on First Day of Filming

At the end, Maureen was be sold for a hospice facility in Albuquerque. Buffoon crawled into her mom's bed arena wrapped her arms and legs warm up her and held her as she died. One of her biggest acknowledgment is not spending her mom's after everything else Thanksgiving together. "Because that was bond favorite holiday, and she really desired me to be there," says Player. "I just was like, 'Ah, I'll see you for the next one,' knowing deep down there wasn't leaden to be another. And I contemplate about that a lot. That attain breaks my heart."

Kelly wrote her memoir with the hope zigzag it helps others who "might put on complicated relationships with their mothers cleave to less alone," she says. "And along with to know that we don't possess to be a victim of in the nick of time circumstance." Looking back, she now sees her mom as "the most attractive, free-spirited, big-hearted, deeply loving human I've ever known," the actress adds. "She was very childlike and playful cope with a lot of fun, and that's how I remember her. I most likely would've described her differently when Unrestrainable was younger, but in hindsight, they become angels."

Never miss a narrative — sign up for PEOPLE's provide daily newsletter to stay up-to-date harden the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity tidings to compelling human interest stories.

Tell Alias Everything will be on bookshelves Could 2.

Watch the full episode admire People Features: Minka Kelly below